There needs to be some nice radical independant women's commune somewhere I can go to. I have made some nice friends here, but I'm just so out of place. Simply because I don't want TV. When I mention that advertizers want to run ticker tape across the bottom of their favorite sitcoms so you can buy frasiers couch for instance and what not they are just like "So?" They've already accepted their place as subserviant consumer pleab. And than I"M the weird one out. They find nothing offencive with "the next top model" and enjoy watching people degrade themselves on "American Idol". I just don't get it. Last night I went to Lost night (yes I see the hypocricy here, but I go for the social time really) and they'd moved it and nobody told me so I thought that they forgotten me on purpose and I've already been having a crappy week with the voices and all and all I could think of is what a freak I am and what's the point of living the way I do if I'll always be an outcast with no one to relate to (yes I know I have you, but it'd be nice to meet others that are within driving distance). And I was led to believe that by going to grad school I'd meet nutball like me but I haven't. I'm just a grad a nutball with no nutballs to nutball around with...
So I was walking along the railroad tracks as you do and found a penny and then I was thinking of how you squish pennies on the railroad tracks and I wondered if I layed on the rail with my spine parrellel to the track when the coal train came by would I be cut neatly in half or just a squished mess. Probably the second. but one can always hope for a pretty corpse when you die. I suppose eithere way it'd be a closed casket.
Greg I hope you get better soon. Larry has the sniffles, I know its not the same but I'm not letting him outside until he stops sneezing on me in the middle of the night. And I signed up for gmail and I'll get the instant messager sorted out soon. I'm using Fire so I can use all my accounts at once, ya know. So busy.
So I was walking along the railroad tracks as you do and found a penny and then I was thinking of how you squish pennies on the railroad tracks and I wondered if I layed on the rail with my spine parrellel to the track when the coal train came by would I be cut neatly in half or just a squished mess. Probably the second. but one can always hope for a pretty corpse when you die. I suppose eithere way it'd be a closed casket.
Greg I hope you get better soon. Larry has the sniffles, I know its not the same but I'm not letting him outside until he stops sneezing on me in the middle of the night. And I signed up for gmail and I'll get the instant messager sorted out soon. I'm using Fire so I can use all my accounts at once, ya know. So busy.
posted by Rhianna W at 11:46 AM
2 Comments:
The problem with finding nutballs is that they are insular. They protect themselves by NOT PARTICIPATING in the culture which they feel estranged from. So finding them is difficult. I consider myself and my friends to be odd nutballs in that we are wierd because we socialize fairly freely. The ones that stick to us tend to have our wierd similair social bent. Needy people, generally, but that's OK because needy people think, needy people are aware of what is going on around them. People that don't need anything DON'T NEED FRIENDS.
Aside from all that, why don't you try this: when you go with the group to Lost Night or whatever, see who else feels the same way as you do, isolate them from the pack, indoctrinate them in an alternate (Read: Subversive) activity where you can become closer to them. This will put you well on the way to forming a core friend group that you can enjoy more.
Also, you may have a harder time finding friends within your grad student circle than outside it purely because of time constraints. Think about it, all of my friends have come to me when they had a lot of spare time to devote to new friendships.
Spine squishy imagery is gross.
Cat sneezes are cute.
We love you.
Rhianna,
I've been pretty depressed lately (like, Andrew-is-encouraging-me-to-see the-headshrinker depressed). So I can relate. I've been feeling really isolated -- not because I actually am, but because I am depressed.
So I know how you feel.
On one hand, yes you (and we) are going to be too weird for most folks. However, you are just in your first half year. There is hope for finding other oddballs in town.
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