My Week

Well Hazel I'm glad your back. I'm sorry your Honda died, I'll order a round of drinks on its behalf. So over the past two weeks I'd say little things have been building up in my head. Negative things about how I am and how people around me react to it and then my reaction to them and if I could possible change. And I finally decieded yesterday that I couldn't really ever completely change. I mean I try to be polite and well behave but you know if you bottle it up for too long without an outlet I just explode ever once in a while. Like a pressure cooker with a faulty lid. So I decided it was best to just kill myself and get it over with. But I got a second opinion from Greg and then took a nap and ran some errands. And I thought about my meds, because I hadn't been taking the full dose and I thought about what I was taking them for. And I came to a realization. I'm not taking my meds for depression. I'm taking them to give me the extra umph to not give a fuck. When I take the full dose people reactions and stupidity doesn't get to me as much. I'm not taking medication for my self, not because something is wrong with me. But because the world is really fucked up and the meds help me not care as much so I can get on with my life and take over the government. Joy.