More Unnatural than Republicans

Or more unnatural than the walking dead are birds singing their little brains out because of all the out dore lights in the universe are on at four thirty in the fucking morning. I am soo ready to go out with a b-b gun and shoot out all the goddamn lights in my neighborhood. Its just wrong and it wakes me up at this fucking hour. Not to mention the pimp mobile came home at four and decided to just sit running in the parking lot for what seemed eternity, which on a normal car would be an enviromental no-no but this pimped out pupped with the surgically enhanced muffler is so loud just idiling it makes me want to beat someone (read: pimp mobile owner) with a fucking stick. Their just lucky I'm sleeping with no pants on or I would come out with my big stick and beat the crap out of that car. Fuckers.

And on a SUNDAY morning they thought it'd be a GREAT idea to trim the hedges with their fucking motorized hedge trimmer. Who are they? The fucking gardening service. What are they doing working on a Sunday? Abusing (more than likely) illegal immigrents into working long hours with little pay and WAKING ME UP AT nine in the fucking morning with their noise and get this: gasoline powered leaf blower. Right outside my fucking window so not only do I get unbelieveable noise but gas fumes to boot. Whoever thought it was a good idea to add combustible engines to the zen art of gardening better be dead by now because I know that with the invention of the leaf blower thousands, possibly millions, of people curse his memory Every. Day of the. Year. Fuckers. fuck fuck fuckity cuck. Oh just give me a vicadin and a shot of bourbon already.