For the Sake of illustration

I have adopted an imaginary five year old child for the sake of illustration. She says the darndest things. Yesterday as a friend and I were walking to the gym I was telling her what my five year old said at breakfast: "Mom, I want to spread exotic venereal diseases, be ostracized from society and get repeatedly beat up by my johns. Mom, I want to be a prostitute!" I told her we'll talk about options after breakfast. And as we walked into the gym lobby I state in my normal "romi voice" "Well, I could get stoned to death for adultery!" OMG I swear everyone in that room gave themselves whiplash. It was fabulous. What was the purpose of any of that? Hell if I know, but it was fun.

Actually I was telling my friend about this sermon I went to on Sunday and how the pastor was saying Corinth was wicked because there were prostitutes and homosexuals. So my five year old was illustrating how it's NOT social factors that determines the existence of prostitutes but un-biased, evil personal choice. Some five year olds want to be a doctor, mine wants to be a prostitute. Yep. Next thing you know my fourteen year old will be telling me he's been converted to homosexuality by the use of "gaydar" and "gayzers" in order to fufill the "homosexual agenda" of something or another. I think the "homosexual agenda" actually has something to do with gaining "respect" or something silly like that, maybe it's "health care for loved ones". God knows I think that's evil.

I never knew having children could be so much fun.