The Rules of Disengagement

Oh my lovelies at the coterie this is my disclaimer that i’m not talking about you. And that I love you all and miss you dearly.

Okay, recently it was brought to my attention that yet again there is another idiot who doesn't want to start are relationship because he (read following in high pitched sissy voice): "has been hurt in the past and doesn't want to be hurt again." Oh FUCK SOCKS PEOPLE!!! At first it was my intent to post a long rant about you only have one life to live, being hurt is just a part of life blah blah blah and is life really fun being a man without balls?

However, this would be counter intuitive to actually solving the problem: people who can’t get over past relationships, resulting in a phobia of future relationships. Not only does this prevent the individual from living a fulfilling and enjoyable life it also frustrates numerous people around said individual to throttle or shake some sense into said individual. I personally enjoy taking the view that you only have one life to live and you better enjoy it, this goes also for reincarnation types. Let’s face it: if your next death was going to lead to Nirvana you’d be enlightened enough to not read this crap, so lets just go on the assumption that in your next life you’re coming back as a prokaryote and continue.

Breakups suck, this is a rule of life. If you really care about someone and they leave, they also leave a hole that can sometimes be hard to fill. The challenge is learning how to deal with this. Moping for a day to a week is okay. We as a society can handle that. Moping for weeks or months is just a waste of time and energy for godsake. Morning a relationship is okay because it is a little death in your life and mourning can be healthy. However the relationphobia types do this in unhealthy ways and carry the hole inside them like a precious gem to be nurtured, allow me to state here and now that: WAKE THE FUCK UP!!! THEY ARE NOT COMM ING BACK AND BEING A PART TIME GOTH IS NOT COOL!!! “Oh the pain...its is just so bitter sweet, every time it stabs me from the inside is a little reminder that I’m only half a person... like the walking dead....god it just so identify with Anne Rice...” Listen, the pain is not a gem you’re carrying around; its a tape worm eating away all the good things you’ve taken in since the end of the affair. Tape worms are nasty, get rid of it, take a heavy laxative if that's what it really takes but for gods sake GET RID OF IT!!! Unfortunately for the rest of us this little worm is not going to take the initiative to burst out of your stomach on its own like in an Aliens movie. Realize this.

So you’ve realized that they aren’t coming back, you’re okay with this and need to move on: now what? Get a hobby, enjoy a book, hang out with friends. This is where you realize that the world is a big place and you only have a finite amount of time to make your mark, do what you want, fight the man, whatever. Get out! When it comes to dead relationships mayrterdome is NOT COOL! Repeat after me: Wasting my life on what I can’t have including so and so is NOT COOL. You have a responsibility to yourself to enjoy yourself. Masturbate for gods sake that's a great place to start, but under no circumstances do you fantasize or use pictures of your ex. Its a fucking big no no people. If its your thing sleep with new people. However if your still carrying the proverbial tape worm and not sleeping with people to enjoy it but sleeping around for the mind fuck you get to give other people, knock it off. Your special mix of sperm, pain and mind fuck is NOT repeat NOT some magical life condiment we are all dying to have. In fact the world is better without it. Get over your relationship or throw yourself over a cliff, don’t drag the rest of us in with you. We don’t want your tape worm.

So you’ve moved on and are meeting new people, but OMG you DON’T WANT TO GET HURT AGAIN!!! Really the only advice is to get over it. The best remedy like many phobias is emersion therapy, just yell “FUCK SOCKS” and jump in with both feet and enjoy the ride. You don’t want to get hurt again? Kill your self. It is the ONLY sure fire way to never hurt again. If you need help with this I can personally drown you like the pathetic rat you are.

I say all this because, I’ve known these relationphobes. I’ve tried to be compassionate, supportive and tolerant. But really it doesn’t do anything except drain me and make the guy feel like an ass. Oh and let me throw this side note in for you guys who are like “You don’t want to date me I’m really just an asshole.” Are you human? Did you grow up on planet Earth? Oh well than fuck yeah your an asshole its called the “human condition”. I know they say that the human condition is to suffer, but who the fuck do you think is the cause of suffering?

Anyway what I really have to say is that you just have to give love a chance. It hurts, its hard, its work, but in the end its worth it.