Wow

So I was reading the article about the doctor who threw his kids off of a hotel balcony and then himself, the story was shocking enough but then I started to read the comments. This was the first one:

USATODAY.com - On Deadline: Archives: "I am amazed at all of the comments from people who use the word 'innocent' to describe the children and who automatically assume that the father was mentally ill or even under the influence of Satan.

Maybe they weren't innocent. Maybe they were evil and/or under the influence of Satan themselves and that's why he threw them out the window.

As their father, he'd be in a position to know.

I hardly think it's appropriate to second-guess the dead, so I'll just wait until the facts are all in.

"
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?!
This person is arguing that it is wrong to judge this guy for MURDERING HIS CHILDREN!!!! Because they could have BEEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF SATAN!

I don't think we have left the dark ages at all. Just get out the old dunking stool and the thumb screws because I can't wait to start blaming demons for our troubles again.

Oh wait, we never stopped.

On a lighter note look what pops up in google ads when you search for demonic posession:

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Utopian Endings for Reality Shows.

This is what I would pay money to get cable to see:

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Utopian Endings for Reality Shows.: "American Idol

The finalists approach the panel and hand them a note, which reads: 'Fame is meaningless. It is the quest of those who do not know the transitory nature of worldly success. We believe it is only by raising all voices equally that we can reach enlightenment.' They sit on the stage in the lotus position and intone 'Om' in unison. Paula is the first judge to join in, but soon the rest do, too. Not long after, a steady 'Om' rises from the studio audience as well. This spreads into households across the country. Then the world. Humanity finally discovers that there is no reality, just a mental construction shaped by the senses. The planet's population abandons ego and lives in peace."

5ives

5ives: "Five good things to absorb while you’re still young
January 23rd, 2006

1. a lot of hippies are selfish, unpleasant, and not particularly funny
2. people who argue well aren’t necessarily right
3. cars are kind of a weird thing to spend a lot of money on
4. people will do things for you if you ask them as a favor
5. angry waiters totally do things to your food"

Soon.

I've been playing phone tag with Faegre & Benson for two days now and I swear I will go mad. I've learned not to fling myself off the loft when I hear her on the answering machine. I've waited a year for them to like me and now I'm playing f-ing phone tag. Ohhhhh my life is a waste. Anyway, if they let me in, I will get myself transferred to the Shanghai office, and then, I will spend my weekends in Mongolia and BHUTAN riding yaks! sorry, I just drooled on myself. I'm so excited I'm going to be sick. I told Hector to come with and he said we didn't speak Chinese. As if that would stop me, you ass. And so we agreed that I will make him flashcards with phrases so he can run around town efficiently. ahhhhhhhhh (Please insert appropriate she-lisms of excitement here)

Chemska, this one is for you:

Bounty Hunter: "THE JOB


* Bondsmen hire bounty hunters to return a fled felon to the court system and thus avoid forfeiture of the bail bond, because the police do not have time to follow up on warrants. Bounty hunters typically receive a percentage of the bond for their work."

Found by accident on Monster.com. I hope this one satisfies you.

Damn Hell Ass Kings found this on Glark, I pass it on to you.

I can't decide what I think. It is seriously hilarious, but as I was watching it, I found myself liking parts of the song. That's weird since I normally loath Kate Bush.

Enjoy. Kate Bush "weirding off" (as my brother Mike would say)

Another mission for Romi

So I heard about this poem and now I need to read the whole thing, it took me a while to find out where it was published and now I can't find anywhere to access it for free. It was in the March 1st 2005 issue of Harpers. It is by Kim Yongsik entitled "Feeble Bush". Here are the first few lines:

"To Feeble Bush"

  Hey, feeble Bush,
  an ordinary citizen of North Korea has a few
     words to tell you.
  They are what you deserve,
  so listen to what I tell you till I'm finished.

  Feeble Bush,
  dissolute bum, Bush,
  You are so good at starting the fire of war.
  Bushy Bush,
  Your hair is bushy like a whore who has passed
     a night without sleep.
  Bush, you attract all kinds of cheap, shabby
     descriptions.

  Bush, the only thing you want to do is eat.
  You say you're going to eat this country or that
     country at the slightest ...

Good luck dear.

VidiotBox

VidiotBox: "I turned ten in 1980, which means the ’80s were my coming-of-age years. I steered clear of kids’ music videos, but clearly the makers of these videos were borrowing from the zeitgeist to edutain the next generation. And I am so, so sorry. If I had known that the crappy Americanized new wave that my dumb little friends and I were listening to was going to be transmogrified into something EVEN WORSE…"


OuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuchOuch!

Romi's on a "Mission From Greg"

Yeah, my mom called when I was driving around and I told her I was on a "Mission from Greg" and she replyed hesitently:"Well,...it's like a mission from God. They both start with 'G'." he he he. And I want you to all know that I have taken all of your suggestions to heart and will try them all. I'm sorry Chemska, I missed the "moving out period" for undergrads. I've wasted excellent dumpster diving opportunities, you should come visit for next year's glorious week of chucking shit that mommy and daddy paid for so they have no idea its true value. he he suckers. And La Roux I've invested in rechargable batteries :) Hazel, I'm compiling a list of local thrift stores and I'm saving that adventure for a nice day of walking and/or biking.

So today was the "Mission from Greg" day. (I just like saying that.) And first I went to the pyramid ruins of Needmore, actually, construction was halted midway so it's more like pyramid base ruins. But its fun to climb on and run around. So the have the entry way built, sign and ticket booth. I think people who've gone before just followed the road to the quarry and found the pyramid on the right. But the ticket booth is there all spray painted on the inside with the door shot at. And I'd like to point out two things about the witless vandals. A. they were shooting the door from the inside of the booth. Idiots. Two the spray painted stupid things like the frquency and call letters of (apparently) thier favorite radio stations. What kind of shit is that? They are advertizing not vandelizing. Good god what has this world come to?

Then farther down the path was a "heilopad" for lack of a better phrase. A big triangle with an "H" in the middle. Possibly the loading area for alien abductions? Who knows. And I took a picture of myself at the entrance. What kind of pose is that you may ask? The stupid kind is my only answer.






Oh yes, I also found two other places where you can buy, hot out of the deep fat frier: deep fried chicken gizzards and livers! Dude, redneck cuisine at its finest!

Also I would like to point out the red boot which is for a western clothing shop on the way to the pyramid. This was the only shopping place that didn't have a front porch, elders in rocking chairs out front and paint peeling off the building on the way to the quarry. Also there was this riding tractor on a stick I'd like to share with you. Why was it there? Who the fuck knows. Its probably the locals answer to boredom: "Hey Billy Bob what do you want to do today? Hey lets put Willy's tractor on a stick, that'll really piss him off. Don't forget to bring the beer!"

Anyway, I also went to the "Osama Bin Bigfoot" chainsaw statue outside the antique mall. Its definitely not a bear. The antique mall is actually really cool, they make their little booths into these funky story senes like from little red riding hood and such. So the antique mall in itself was actually a really cool stop. There's also these underground caverns near by but they are closed during the weekday.

Okay, I also saw the "sign guy" in Bedford. Bedford, which next to their welcome sign is a fifteen foot cross which on the bottom reads "Jesus Saves". eeck. I would like to point out that in this neck of the woods, limestone is god. Everything is made out of it. And there was even a sign made out of Indiana Limestone with a little limestone race car carved on top of it. Sorry I didn't get a picture. So yes in Bedford either the building was made out of limestone or in desperate need of a paint job. The "sign guy" just...oh my god...I can't even discribe it. Its just....wow. There was a used furniture place next to it that I decided to check out, I could only walk in twenty feet until I got a panick attack from severe clostraphobia. I mean it was packed with shit, piled six feet high and only god knows how many feet back. I don't know where the guy that owns it sits in the winter. Today he was on his porch in his rocking chair with his cash register and a black and white TV on a tv tray. On my way out he asked if there was anything I was interested in. All I could reply was "No, sir, nothing I couldn't live without thank you." And walk swiftly to the car. See the thing about the sign guy was, he must have owned half of the block. I drove all the way around, and there was junk everywhere. It could have been the same guy with the "used furniture" store. Anyway on his front yard of a condemed househe had several 6x8 self made billboards with his own anti-government slogans painted in red on white. Which he must whitewash and repaint everyso often. I really can't explain the horror that little corner of town put into me. Oh oh! and then! then! two blocks over in the middle of a neighborhood was some stripper joint with a big sign proudly introducing "Oil Wrestling" on its venue! Then down the block from that was anti abortion signs and EVERYWHERE were people with front bumper licenceplates that read "Jesus Saves"!!! And then I couldn't find my way out of town. Damn it.

Yeah, so I finally made it out and home. Whew. I'm glad I could share and I'm sorry its such a big post. Love ya all!!

Good News all over the place!

Hello peeps! I must have given the right person some spare change or something! Not only do I (still) have a steady boyfriend BUT...
I got a promotion!!!!!!!
I am now an Accounting Assistant at All, Inc! The job was offered to me-I didn't apply for it. Apparently, Ivan, a big wig at All, suggested me for the position. I know that you don't know Ivan but trust me the compliment is HUGE!
I'll have my own desk in my own office. I won't have to tell anyone when I go to the loo. I'll have my own office. I won't have to answer every damn whiny phone call that comes in. I can hang paintings... IN MY OFFICE. Can you fucking believe it? Wooo-Hooo!
...say...has anyone seen where that other shoe went?...

Life With Romi

Yeah, I'm bored. Yeah I know all the saying about how it's my fault for being bored and I tell them to f-off. So I've got a new job and I like my boss like where I work, like what I do the only problem is that it's really slow. There are assigned tasks, they really only take twenty minutes to an hour depending on how many books come in to be checked in and how much I putz around. I enjoy the reference questions but there usually only one to two in a four hours period. So yeah. I'm going to have to start comming up with my own reference questions. The problem is that the library I work in is small and speciallized for those with disability questions. The other problem is that it's off campus tucked away in a friggin thicket with a drive way half a mile long, so there is NO foot traffic. Any yeah, that's my work day right now.

I need to start some new stupid hobby, like handleing poisonus snakes or wrestling wart hogs so then I'll have something interesting to talk about. I mean I've been painting, reading, playing my dulcimer but who wants to hear about my day mixing paint? Exactly, no one. Sometimes the most excitement in my day is using the typewriter. Typewriters make such a productive noise. Okay that it, I'm losing it, brain just said bye-bye.

YouTube - They are made out of meat

YouTube - They are made out of meat: "They are made out of meat"

Romi's forest adventure

So I tried the Indiana State forest system again and decided to go on a hike. I tried a different park. And I should have gotten the hint after the long, pitted, dirt road that winded for at least two miles from any main road. The wooden one-lane bridge without side rails or the little creek I had to fjiord with my vehicle to get to the head of the trail. Maybe I should have taken a hint that the name of the trail was (seriously) 'Scarce O Fat Trail'. But undaunted by the obvious deficencies of the surroundings yet smart enough to bring my own water and snack I trekked of on the FOUR MILE TRAIL. Okay, I thought four miles, I can do this. Hills valleys, more creeks, mud and TWO and a half hours later I find my way out of the woods. I mean what the fuck? I think they lied about the length of the trail. Also the marking was inconsistint or non-exsistant. There way a part where three trails intersected. How the fuck am I supposed to know where to go without a sign? hello? Anyway, just wanted to share.

The Day of Me

Hello friends. As you know or at least should know by now, my birthday returns at it's regularly scheduled date of May 23rd. This means that there will be madness in the weekend proceeding it.
SO...
If you could leave open Saturday May 20th late evening, (like 8 or 9 o'clock), I figure we can head down to The 90's and do it up right!!! I promise to ingest water when asked nicely/threatened and no, I repeat, NO Dead Nazis!
It will be fun. Call me.

Wow, I love Steven Colbert!

In case anyone hasn't heard about it yet, Steven Colbert gave a "balls-allicious" address to the press association dinner in Washington D. C. in front of the shrub, to read the complete speache follow the link:
Daily Kos: Re-Improved Colbert transcript (now with complete text of Colbert-Thomas video!): "I'm a simple man with a simple mind. I hold a simple set of beliefs that I live by. Number one, I believe in America. I believe it exists. My gut tells me I live there. I feel that it extends from the Atlantic to the Pacific, and I strongly believe it has 50 states. And I cannot wait to see how the Washington Post spins that one tomorrow. I believe in democracy. I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit.

In fact, Ambassador Zhou Wenzhong, welcome. Your great country makes our Happy Meals possible. I said it's a celebration. I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

A little something for LaRoux:

Boing Boing: The Clash on Fridays, 1980: "The Clash on Fridays, 1980
200605011114 I remember seeing this in 1980, in my friend's dorm room. It was thrilling to see my favorite band for the first time. Before that, I was pretty much limited to the pictures of The Clash that appeared in Creem and Trouser Press. Bedazzled has the video. Link"